Friday, May 04, 2007
Attractive women scare me!!!
Why am I so deathly afraid of talking to attractive women? Whenever I am near one I freeze and go into Flight mode. Maybe it's my antisocial nature, or fear of rejection? Whatever it is it has got to stop. I saw another one today at the Bookstore. Once I noticed she was standing next to me I froze, stood there for a few seconds then walked away. I think she even said "Hi" to me but I "walked" (Read "Ran") away. This is not the first time this has happened. Its always in the same type of situation, College party, bookstore, or Night-Club. If its a more formal situation, I have less of a problem. Weddings, Work, and Class all are easier.
How do I fix this?
How do I fix this?
# posted by kosh @ 4:04 PM 
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as there are probably fewer people less qualified to answer this question than myself i think that leaves me no choice but to answer it.
Step #1: Narcissism
How can you expect people to like you if you dont love yourself? If there's something you dont like about yourself take active steps to change it.
Step #2: Apathy
The writing on a bathroom wall once told me "Apathy is the pathway to self discovery." If you are totally absorbed in the final outcome any misstep along the way seems like a failure rather than part of the journey. Not caring what will happen allows for more things to happen than if you try to force a conversation a certain way (Do not confuse apathy for depression or disinterest, that won't get you anywhere and you'll either come across as sad or a jerk)
Step #3 Play the odds.
Odds are you will not see the random encounter pretty girl ever again. So feel free to come off like a dope. If she laughs at you at least you brightened someone's day. What's the worst that can happen? If you run into each other again at least you'll have something to talk about.
Step #4 Confidence
Its ok to be scared as hell on the inside just dont faint or let your lips quiver when you say "You like Herbert? Have you read the Heretics of Dune yet?"
Step #5 You've already lost
Assume every pretty girl is married/in a long term relationship. This simplifies things, now she's only trying to be friendly and when was the last time someone trying to be friendly rejected you for small talk?
Ok so that's my 5 step program on how not to be afraid of pretty girls. You probably shouldnt listen to it. In fact i fully expect N8 to reply to my comment with flags raised telling you not to listen to any of it.
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Step #1: Narcissism
How can you expect people to like you if you dont love yourself? If there's something you dont like about yourself take active steps to change it.
Step #2: Apathy
The writing on a bathroom wall once told me "Apathy is the pathway to self discovery." If you are totally absorbed in the final outcome any misstep along the way seems like a failure rather than part of the journey. Not caring what will happen allows for more things to happen than if you try to force a conversation a certain way (Do not confuse apathy for depression or disinterest, that won't get you anywhere and you'll either come across as sad or a jerk)
Step #3 Play the odds.
Odds are you will not see the random encounter pretty girl ever again. So feel free to come off like a dope. If she laughs at you at least you brightened someone's day. What's the worst that can happen? If you run into each other again at least you'll have something to talk about.
Step #4 Confidence
Its ok to be scared as hell on the inside just dont faint or let your lips quiver when you say "You like Herbert? Have you read the Heretics of Dune yet?"
Step #5 You've already lost
Assume every pretty girl is married/in a long term relationship. This simplifies things, now she's only trying to be friendly and when was the last time someone trying to be friendly rejected you for small talk?
Ok so that's my 5 step program on how not to be afraid of pretty girls. You probably shouldnt listen to it. In fact i fully expect N8 to reply to my comment with flags raised telling you not to listen to any of it.
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