My misinterpretation of real life

I have signed a sublet agreement in Ann Arbor much closer to downtown. That will be nice while I finish my thesis and search for a Job. I think its a good deal, only two other occupants $200 a month till August 20th or so. That should be plenty of time. I will probably still work at the local Ann Arbor public Library.

So anyway the thesis. The diagrams for StarScan and StarMobile are done sorta. They just need to be labeled. A few more descriptive paragraphs and it will be time to see what my thesis advisor thinks of it.

I started looking at job postings. Kinda got me depressed. I have like none of the qualifications for my dream job (Tesla Motors) and not that many for a Google job. Who knows I will try for both and see what happens. I guess I shouldn't sell myself short I do have quite a bit of experience. All I really need is to get my foot in the door to either place. Oh well, only time will tell.

I started looking at my resume today and trying to apply it to jobs I see on the web.

I now have no hopes of getting a good job anytime soon. It seems that of all the requirements they list I have one or two of them. I am also having a hard time classifying what the hell I did at Controller Tech for those years.

I am so depressed. I went back to working on my thesis. Luckily that is more complete than my resume of life.


What is wrong with me that it takes so long for me to accomplish anything?

I have a new strategy for finishing my thesis. Work on it 4 hard hours per day. I did 2 and a half soft hours yesterday. Today My goal is 3 hard hours and tomorrow full swing with 4.

Once I did an actual accounting of the work still to be done for this too look good I realized I have a lot of work ahead of me. I can do it, I'm just going to have to work hard.

What is going to make this hard is that I am going to try to work in my room. I have 3 days to turn out 8 hours of work (including yesterday). Otherwise I will have to move my work area.

Why am I so deathly afraid of talking to attractive women? Whenever I am near one I freeze and go into Flight mode. Maybe it's my antisocial nature, or fear of rejection? Whatever it is it has got to stop. I saw another one today at the Bookstore. Once I noticed she was standing next to me I froze, stood there for a few seconds then walked away. I think she even said "Hi" to me but I "walked" (Read "Ran") away. This is not the first time this has happened. Its always in the same type of situation, College party, bookstore, or Night-Club. If its a more formal situation, I have less of a problem. Weddings, Work, and Class all are easier.

How do I fix this?

Well I got my new phone today Samsung SGH-D347 it works well, very well. I also get to use my chargers from my old SGH-E105. No camera with bluetooth and speakerphone. Everything I wanted with nothing I didn't want.

It's still unbelievably hard to work on my thesis. Probably because it has taken me so long to just get it back off the ground.

I have taken to emailing myself important files so that I have them backed up. Thesis, resume, other things.